It can often seem that men express their feelings differently than women.
And since this occasionally extends to how men handle conflict, there are some things you should never say to a guy when he's upsetif you want to have a healthy, constructive convo. But at the end of the day, there are just some phrases you should really steer clear of when dealing with anyone who is upset, because who nice married cheating grandfather wants to iss "calm down" when they're upset?
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For one, thanks to outdated, but ever-so-persistent gender stereotypes of masculinity, men don't always feel comfortable sharing their emotions, so if you you them out on that, they may easily feel more upset. Keeping this in mind when offering your support could make communicating easier.
These social constructs occasionally creep up on what men might want during conflict. This explains why men might shut down, or stalk off, when emotions run high. While we shouldn't walk on eggshells around each other, there are ways to keep situations like these from getting worse — while boyftiend offering your support.Slutty Velma Costume
Below, a few things that interracial dating nj better left unsaid the next someone you love is upset.
Nobody likes to be told to calm down oyur they're upset. Thanks to stereotypical expectations of masculinity, some men may not have been taught how to discuss their feelings, or were discouraged from it all.Wife Seeking Casual Sex Saguache
Ask questions. Validate emotions. That's the best thing boyfriene do, regardless of someone's gender.
This is a highly problematic thing to say to anyone let alone to a man when he's upset.
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Not only does it reinforce the gendered notion that emotions are restricted solely to women, it shames both men and women for having feelings in the first place. And that's just part of being human.
If someone in your life is upset, the last thing you want to do is compare them to another person who may or may not be what to do when your boyfriend is mad at handling conflict.
As relationship advocate Brooke Genn tells Bustle, "Not only is comparison going to add fuel to the fire, but the burn from comments like this can sting long after the heat of the argument has passed. When someone's upset, the best thing you can do is give them a little space.Monkey Sexe
Avoid saying things like, "Ugh, you're being too sensitive," since it can invalidate their feelings, while also implying they're overreacting. Not only can this be frustrating and hurtful, but it's not up for you to decide.
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Don't assume someone doesn't care, just because they're handling a tough situation differently than you. Even if someone is handling a situation poorly, or being dramatic in the heat of the moment, resist the urge to point that fact.
If someone is overreacting, they likely already know it. So pointing it out isn't the most helpful thing to do — men included. By telling someone they're overreacting, you're not only invalidating his wha feelings, but you can cause them to feel embarrassed.
As Klapow says, this can turn into a vicious cycle of emotion that some guys don't know how to handle. Any comment that challenges someone's emotions is a no-go. Nikki Martinez tells Bustle.
You know what's unhelpful? Turning your conflict into a competition.Date For The Fair Tonight 10 3
That'll just set you up for a totally unnecessary argument. It's also not much help to explain to someone why they're wrong for being upset since, again, it's not up to you to decide.
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As Reardon says, "That's a great strategy if you want to shut down the argument, but it's a total miss if your goal is to casual sex Boston ny through co and get to resolution. Because when it comes to dealing with someone who's upset, you want to be as understanding as possible — and this includes taking someone's very nature into account.
While everyone who identifies as male obviously isn't the same, there may be differences between men and women when it comes to feeling upset, thanks to how we've been conditioned to deal with things based on our gender. The good news is, all constructive conversations, especially during conflict, come from listening and validating a person's feelings, and that is pretty darn universal.Homeless Woman Wanted